College

Il faut cultiver notre jardin.

-Voltaire

This semester has been especially special to me in how much I have learned about myself.  There have been many big things going on like me beginning my first part-time job (I was self-employed throughout high school), getting called as Ward Mission Leader, and my mission call coming sometime within the next three days...to smaller, more personal things.

The biggest change that I can notice is the level upon which I have come to know and love my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I have been taking a New Testament Honors class here from Dr. Kelly Ogden that has opened my eyes to the magnitude and scope of Christ's infinite Atonement and just how much He has done for us.  Being called as Ward Mission Leader has been great for me because I had the opportunity to teach the "Gospel Essentials" class in my ward.  I used this class as an opportunity to share some of the things that I have been learning from Dr. Ogden.  Throughout the teaching experience, I had the recurring feeling that these lessons that I was teaching here will be lessons that I will teach again on my mission.  I am really grateful for the opportunity I had to teach and for the patience of those attending that class.  Being a great speaker/teacher was always a skill that I admired and hoped to attain.  I really hope that I can someday.

Another big change has been how much I have learned about myself.  I came to BYU not sure how I was going to fit in.  Not as in if I would make friends, but as in what niche I would fit into.  Everywhere I have gone, I have always tried to be the fastest, the strongest, the most like-able... etcetera.  This, of course, always came with mixed success, but I still strove nonetheless, to be the best at everything I deemed worthy.  It was exhausting and resulted in feelings of inadequacy when I didn't meet these lofty goals.  Now, I am at BYU.  Instead of competing against 2,000 at my high school, I am now one of 35,000...all of whom are gifted, bright individuals.  While my competitive side still gets me to try to be the best in a few categories...I've also realized that I need to stop pretending to be who I am not.  

I always tried to be the funny guy.  Well, I'm not the funny guy.  At-least not in the way that I used to define it. I used to always try to be the guy in the center of attention.  Well, I'm not that guy either.  I used to always try to be the guy that knew everything.  Well, I sure as heck am not that guy.

I have learned, however, who I AM.  

I AM the guy who will sit down with you when you need to chat about life.  I AM the guy who will take over a situation if I need to.  I AM the guy that will be over in 5 minutes if you need something at 2 in the morning.  I AM the guy that will work until the job gets done.  And I AM the guy that will not compromise on what I know in my heart is right.  

I AM a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I AM a missionary of his gospel.

Il faut cultiver notre jardin.

-Voltaire

"Il faut cultiver notre jardin" means that we must cultivate our own garden.  It comes at the end of Voltaire's Candide.  What it means, when put into context with the rest of the book, is that while it is okay to philosophize and think of things beyond your control...at the end of the day, we need to worry about what we can control.  And that means the betterment of ourselves and those around us.  That's what I've been focusing on the most.  Becoming a better man.  Hopefully, I've accomplished something.

And here we go again...

To be old and wise...you have to first be young and stupid.

- I forget

Well, I'm finally 18!  Turned 18 a week ago and celebrated my first birthday away from my family.  Just to get it out of the way so that everyone knows for sure...yes, I AM missing my family!  But, at the same time, I could not be having a better time up here in Provo.  I just love the atmosphere here and the cooler weather is a nice change too.  I just really feel like I'm in the right place at the right time...and that's always a wonderful feeling to have. 

My classes are going pretty well and I'm getting my work all done.  It's amazing how much more time I have on my hands now that I don't have practice every day!  My parents think that my newfound freedom means that I can handle a job.  I totally agree with them, though it's more because I'd like to save money for my mission which will be starting sometime in the summer.  If anyone hears of job opportunities up here, let me know!!!  I'm looking too!

Speaking of which, my mission.  I have looked forward to leaving and serving the Lord on a mission for my entire life and it seems to be just around the corner.  I can't think of a better way to spend two years than out preaching with a tag on my chest saying who I'm representing.  That's also the scary part though.  To anyone and everyone I meet, I represent the Lord's church.  I am an ambassador of his word.  That's a lot of pressure and I'm taking it very seriously.  That's why I've been off of Facebook and changing how I spend my time.  I'm trying to spend more time reading scriptures and working out instead of online.  I've found out that unless I'm actually doing something productive or absolutely need to relax for a minute, I don't like being kept inside.  I miss being able to go outside and do yard work, shoot hoops, or go on a cruise with my bud, Casey.  Speaking of drives...geez, I miss my truck.

I've learned a lot about myself since coming up here to the Y.  For one thing, I've found out that around girls...I am really old fashioned and take things a lot slower than most of the guys I know.  Some people think that I might need to work on speeding it up, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see (no pun intended).  At the same time, I have also learned a lot about dating activities.  For instance, I've found out that I have a hard time taking girls on dates to sporting events because I get so into the game that I sometimes forget to keep up a conversation.  Honestly, if I'm comfortable around someone, I feel like I don't need to talk.  And while I definitely want to be taking people that I can talk to, I like being able to not have to constantly be talking.  I guess it's just the way I am.  

Well, I better get back to doing my homework now, so I guess this is the end for this post.  I'll try to update this more regularly than I have been.  I hope anyone out there reading this right now is having a great day/night.  If not, and there is any way that I can help, hit me up!  I'm just in my dorm finishing an essay with my country music playin'. 

'til next time,
J.C.

Hi!

#1:  So here's me...

Writer's block already? Wow, I'm terrible.  Well, for those who don't know me, I'm 17 going on 18, into anything and everything involving the outdoors and sports, and I'm headed off to college in about 3 weeks at BYU Provo! :) (sooooooooooooo excited!!!!) 

I'm into trying new things (like this blog lol) and having fun :)  So, as this summer begins to come to a close, I decided to sort of keep an online record of my adventures and my thoughts on different things.  I hope that I'm not too terribly boring.  Hmm, we'll just have to see I guess. Well, until next time, signin' off.

-J.C.